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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Saddened and Embarrassed...

 The Connecticut school shooting events have been all of our minds.  Lot's of sadness about what feels like senseless violence. Lot's of anger.  Grief is a process, and there is a lot of grieving going on. My heart breaks for the family and friends dealing with the loss of those they love.  Whether it's from this tragedy or any other.  There are no words.

 I just read several posts on facebook that a friends liked.  Social media can be wonderful and horrible at the same time.  People feel they can be mean, or kind at will, and they feel the need to share that hate or kindness with EVERYONE.  I'm glad I know a diverse group of people.  I'm happy people have many options.  However to place blame and spread hate is just so sad.  One post was a video.  It talked about remember the ones who were lost, and the bravery of people like the teacher who saved her 16 students by hiding them in the closet.  In that video they did not name the gunman because they do not want him to become "famous" or a role model.  I understand this reasoning.

 The next post I read was about someone who blames the gunman's parents for his actions.  Saying that they had money and could of gotten the boy help.  This is the post that made me a little embarrassed to know these people.  They didn't write the post, they just liked it.

Here is my story:

 I grew up in a house where there was mental illness.  I can look back and see it.  Did I have a "normal" childhood?  Sure, it was normal for me.  I have an older brother.  We grew up in the same circumstances.  We both got "help".  There was counseling- individual and family.  There were anger management sessions, and circle groups.  There was a lot of therapy (for the kids) in my family.  Today I feel very well adjusted.  I am in control of my life.  I love life.  I do good whenever and wherever I can.  I feel blessed to have family and friends. If you ask my brother he will say the same thing.  The difference- it worked for me.  The counseling, the therapy, it worked.  It clicked.  For my's a whole other story.  He has been in and out of jail.  Addicted to drugs. In some pretty crazy situations.  My journey was worked.  His was didn't work for him.  He's working to turn his life around in the only way he knows  I can look back and see that even with everything given to my brother as help....he could of been just like the gunman who shot all those children.  It could of been him, and would it of been my parents fault?

 Do I really want the world to know I was a totally messed  up kid??  Not really.  But do you see that sometimes things, even given everything you can think of to give to fix it, just doesn't work out the same.  My brother and I are oil and water, night and day, different as different can be.....but it could of been the flip and then what?

I just want to close this post with....I don't know what a solution would be.  Tighter gun control? Better Mental Illness availability, tighter school security??  I don't think any of these things would of changed the outcome.  I think it all still would of happened.  I wish the world didn't have mental illness, and a need for guns and security....but that isn't they way the world is.  Sometimes we just have to throw love out there, and keep throwing it out there, and maybe someone will catch on, and throw some love back.

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